What got into you?!
You have to learn to control yourself!
I'm not going to the Christmas party this year.
The guy was twice his size.
The little bastard's got nerve.
He gets that from his old man.
He's been doing well lately, huh?
You call that doing well?
A little fight's no big deal.
We should get him something special this year, don't you think?
He just needed a girlfriend.
Michelle's a nice girl.
He said she invited him over for Christmas Eve.
He'll be 16.
We can start cutting him a little slack.
You didn't agree?
I said we'd discuss it.
She can join us, if she wants to spend Christmas with him.
She can't take him away from us on his birthday.
He can do whatever he wants when he's older.
In the meantime, we celebrate Christmas as a family.
What about a new stereo for his room?
I can't believe what a good ear he has.
He gets that from me, too.
- I didn't do anything. - Don't take me for an idiot!
What you did was wrong!
I didn't do anything.
- A liar, too! - Let him explain.
See what that pram business and your mollycoddling does?
He's never to set foot here again! Is that clear?!
If you can't choose the right friends, we'll do it for you.
Fucking little faggot.
And you, you sap, get dragged into it!
- Let him speak! - Stop defending him!
I know what I saw!
What you did was wrong. You don't do this.
We went in to warm up, that's all.
Did we ever beat you?
Do we have to start, so you stop mocking us!
I'm sorry.
I don't understand.
After everything we've done for him.
This shouldn't be happening to us.
It can happen to anyone. It's no one's fault.
Father Carbonneau says we mustn't seek to lay blame.
Father Carbonneau?
I had to talk to someone.
- What am I, chopped liver? - You're impossible to talk to.
- The whole neighborhood will know. - Of course not.
No one else is to know about this. Is that clear?
This is strictly a family matter.
What did the priest have to say?
It's a sin, yes, but not the end of the world. He's not alone.
The sin is in the act, not the inclination.
Look who's talking.
Him and his cassock!
Don't start.
He says he knows a priest who's real good with teenagers.
Forget it. It's not a priest he needs.
Sometimes I wonder why we pray to a long-haired guy
who hangs out with a bunch of guys in robes.
- It's fishy. - Honestly!
Why are there no female priests, then?
They're starting to get on my nerves.
Anyway, we'll take care of his problem immediately.
It's all in his head.
Abnormal people get treated.
People aren't born that way, they become so.
It's up to us to make sure that our son doesn't.
Nature doesn't make mistakes. There's no in-between.
It's one or the other - a boy or a girl.
I'm willing to pay for a shrink if necessary.
Our boy is a boy.
No way I sired a fairy.
We'll wipe any such notions right out of his head!
You have to be sick
to spend your life sticking your pecker up someone's ass!
You've got a short memory.
That was different.
And we only tried it once.
Once?
Once or twice. I don't remember.
Well, I do.
I'm not seeing a shrink. I'm warning you.
I don't have a problem. Understand?
He does take after his father.
He's freaking out over nothing.
Nothing happened.
We didn't touch each other.
We jerked off in the same car, no big deal.
Why do it together,
then?
Watching him excited you?
I didn't watch him.
Do I look like a fag?
Do I talk with a lisp? Strut like a peacock?
Nice idea of homosexuals you've got there.
They're not all like that.
They all become that way.
Sooner or later.
This is a waste of time. I'm not a fag.
I'd rather die.
It's just a figure of speech.
Isn't it obvious?
Being happy and healthy, or miserable and fucked-up?
It's a no-brainer.
So?
A subconsciously deliberate mistake.
What?
He says I deliberately did that in your car so you'd catch me,
find out I was gay
and accept it so that I could.
Twenty-five bucks for that hogwash?
You didn't buy it, I hope?
- 'Course not. - Unbelievable.
"A subconsciously deliberate mistake"!
He'll deliberately reimburse me, believe me!
What do you want?!
You want to take this in to him?
He'll be glad to see you.
I'm sure he's forgiven you.
Dad!
How are you?
Come in, come in.
What're you doing? Get out of here.
I don't have time.
Your brother's waiting in the car. I'll take a rain check.
Hey, bro.
How you doing?
So, you take my room, you little bastard?
Oh, Dad, I almost forgot.
Can you lend me a few bucks?
I couldn't cash my cheque. I'll pay you back tomorrow.
Better than nothing.
See you.
I would be cured
if I could simply make it through the storm.
Happy birthday.
Christmas 1980
Fall on your knees
O hear the angel voices
O night divine
The night...
When Christ was born
Yesterday when I was young
The taste of life was sweet as rain upon my tongue
I teased at life as if it were a foolish game
The way the evening breeze may tease a candle flame
The thousand dreams I dreamed the splendid things I planned
I always built alas on weak and shifting sand
I lived by night and shunned the naked light of the day
And only now I see how the years ran away
So many drinking songs were waiting to be sung
So many wayward pleasures lay in store for me
And so much pain my dazzled eyes refused to see
I ran so fast that time and youth at last ran out
He wrote that for you, Zac.
Yesterday the moon was blue
And every crazy day brought something new to do
I used my magic age as if it were a wand
And never saw the waste and emptiness beyond
The game of love I played with arrogance and pride
And every flame I lit too quickly quickly died
The friends I made all seemed somehow to drift away
And only I am left on stage to end the play
There are so many songs in me that won't be sung
I feel the bitter taste of tears upon my tongue
The time has come for me to pay for yesterday
When I was young
Happy birthday, my man!
The old man's still got it, huh?
It's been a while since I've seen him with an inhaler.
He got rid of it.
Since when?
- Almost a year, I think. - He didn't tell us?
I said nothing, okay?
I don't know about cake.
I overate.
We've got news.
I don't want to steal your thunder, bro, so I'll be quick.
We're getting married.
You hear that?! They're getting married!
I'm very happy!
This calls for another bottle!
Congratulations.
How about a double wedding, honey?
Sit down and shut up.
You look like a damn fool.
What's the matter?
What's going on?
Tell him to go to hell.
Shut up, fag.
You shut up.
You seem to be sniffing a lot for someone in detox.
Did I miss something?
Two subjects had become taboo at home:
me,
and Raymond. - Sucking cock's made you a prick?
That's enough!
Your ass must've been raw after prison.
He'd done a year for beating up a junkie who tried to steal his coke.
You'd have enjoyed that, huh?
That's quite enough!
It's Christmas!
Can't we eat in peace?!
Idiots!
How sweet life was
since I had become so happy and fulfilled.
Aw, Mom!
Yeah, that's right.
Don't call me back to say she's stopped bleeding.
She'll stop anyway,
whether or not I think of her.
If I truly had a gift,
by dint of being his instrument,
perhaps he would one day answer my prayers.
Had I known, I wouldn't have come today.
I think...
you won't come much anymore.
He says it's just for a couple of weeks.
Just long enough to get back on his feet.
To run through our savings, you mean.
Anyway, he seems determined. I've never seen him like that.
I think, this time, he really wants to clean up his act.
Please, make an effort. Your brother needs help.
So Michelle's well, then?
Yeah.
I brought your records back.
- Coffee? - It's okay, Mom, I'll do it.
What's new?
Not much. Classes, work.
So, were they a hit?
Your brother's playing my old records at his club.
Can you believe it?
If that's the nutcase, I'm not here.
No, he's busy. Can he call you back?
That her?
It was for Yvan.
Is Doris the "nutcase"?
She was nuts to put up with you for six years, that's for sure!
I'm sorry, Mom.
I'll be out of your hair soon.
I missed...
your delicious ironed toast.
I love you, Mom.
Any bacon left?
Well, I'll be going.
Already?
- Need a ride back? - Never mind, Dad.
I'll go.
Coming?
It's disco?
Not just disco.
I play a bit of everything.
Anything unusual.
I'll come see you at some point. I'll make an exception.
I don't drink anymore, so I avoid bars.
I don't drink, smoke or swear anymore.
Fuck, I left my bag of weed at the pub.
You can drop me at the corner.
Listen...
I know I haven't always been cool with you.
I need money.
I'll pay you back. I don't know when, but I swear I will.
You're asking me?
The old man brags that his little pet makes more than he does.
If he's got a pet, it sure isn't me.
Don't be a prick, I'm in a jam.
Even if I was a millionaire, I wouldn't lend you a dime.
Antoine and Christian did. Even Fatty spotted me 20.
Come on!
Do I have to give you a blow job?
That's it, go kill yourself.
Aren't you in bed yet?
Here.
Someone left this for you tonight.
G'night.
You want to get things hopping, give this tape to the DJ.
- Do I have to wear this? - I want this off, too.
Bunch of nitwits. A tux without a bow tie isn't a tux.
We're all dressed the same. That's the beauty of it. Huh?
Very nice.
Where have you been?
Fatty.
- Goddammit, Raymond! - I'll pay you back.
Congratulations.
Aren't you going to introduce us?
My mother.
My brothers.
My father. Min.
What's that?
Min.
He takes after his old man!
Is that idiot gonna play my tape or what?
Not dancing?
I'm waiting for my song.
By popular request...
Shall we go smoke one outside?
Good idea.
You two go ahead. Michelle and I will have girl talk.
What is it?
Your girlfriend's nice.
She's cute, too.
You want a shotgun?
A coke.
Same.
I'm very proud of you.
What's so funny?
Check those two out.
Little Zac sure seems to like his cousin.
Talk about keeping it in the family!
He's not after his cousin, but her boyfriend.
I saw them French-kissing in the parking lot earlier.
So it's true.
Junior's a fag.
Looks like it.
Ah, damn.
Don't touch me!
Are you okay?
Keep dancing.
Just a little misunderstanding.
The wedding goes on. Keep dancing.
No, everything's okay.
Keep dancing!
Christian!
I'm sorry!
What's going on?!
Stop!
Give us a minute?
On your brother's wedding day!
Raymond causes trouble and I get in shit?
What happened was your fault. Your brother was defending you.
You were being called a fag!
They saw you in the parking lot with your cousin's boyfriend!
What did they see?
It's not what you think.
We were smoking a joint.
We just gave each other a shotgun.
You're a born liar.
Nothing happened!
Be a man for once in your life
and tell the truth!
What do you want to hear?!
That I'm gay?!
A fag?!
That I suck cock?!
Yes, something happened, but not with him!
You know with who.
Nothing happened earlier.
But I would've fucking loved it if something had!
Fucking right!
Go.
Go away!
Forgive me, Mom.
I know you'll be sad I'm gone.
But I know you'll be glad to know where I am.
Don't worry.
Your God is watching over me.
Raymond made me realize something the other day:
I've never told you I love you.
This side trip to the Holy Land, before Europe,
would make her ecstatic.
Walking in Christ's footsteps certainly intrigued me...
but I hadn't crossed the Atlantic
out of Catholic faith.
Zac, are you there?
I love you, sweetheart!
God works in mysterious ways, my mother always said.
The good Lord brought you back. It's a sign.
You'll heal him.
Thanks for coming, Christian.
I'm so happy you're staying.
I want to know everything.
Dad coming down?
He's in bed already.
- Good night. - Good night.
I found him lying there,
with a syringe in his arm.
I think it'll be a while before I get that 20 back.
What?
You lost that 20 long ago.
If you ask me, it was no accident.
He'll pull through. He's tough.
I know I'm not a perfect father.
You certainly wouldn't have the problems you do otherwise.
Raymond, either.
I'm trying to understand what's happening to us now...
It's not easy.
I know I'm partly to blame.
I'd like to redeem myself,
but I don't know how.
I don't know what to tell you...
to make you understand you're not what you think.
You can't forsake life's greatest pleasure -
having children.
There's nothing more beautiful...
more powerful.
And that really hits home when you come close...
to losing one.
Because...
there's no greater pain.
The good Lord must surely be trying to tell me something.
If you think it's a lost cause...
that you can't change...
I can't accept that.
I can't.
I'm sorry.
Speaking.
Oh, my God.
Oh, no.
Even in the face of death, we have faith that life goes on,
for it comes from God.
It is to him that we now turn in prayer.
Our Father
Who art in heaven
Hallowed be thy name
Thy kingdom come
They will be done On earth as it is in heaven
Give us this day
Our daily bread
And forgive us our trespasses
As we forgive those who trespass against us
And lead us not into temptation
But deliver us from evil
You spoke well.
I was deeply... touched.
Ciao, bro.
See ya, kid.
Mr. Beaulieu...
You'll come visit us, hmm?
Bye, Dad.
Take care of yourself. Mom, too.
I don't know if it was Raymond's passing, or if time heals all wounds,
but my father had become my father once more.
Although it took him 10 years
to allow me into his home with a lover.
And we've never mentioned our differences since.
Nor Patsy Cline.
Subtitling and translation: CNST, Montreal